Sometimes the best way to learn is to listen and watch.
I suffer from performance anxiety. Have pretty much for most of my life. Actually, looking back, it really didn't kick in until puberty started, but that's a whole different blog post. So, let's just say, since middle school.
There is nothing wrong with being shy. All of us are wired differently, and there are strengths in not being the person who is 'on' all the time. My problem is that I actually enjoy being on stage and being the center of attention, and have such fond memories of all of the times when I was younger, that I put myself out there at school or other organizations in the community, or in my neighborhood, that when the option comes up to perform in front of others, I will right away raise my hand or step forward, or answer The Call in an email.
Shhh...little Inner Voice
Problem is, that is when I begin to hear that little Inner Voice start to whisper in my ear "Who do you think you are?" Or "You will make a fool of yourself" or "You don't know what you're doing" or "There will be plenty of people who are better at (fill in the blank) than you are."
That little Inner Voice that started out as a whisper, just gets louder and louder if I don't put the brakes on and I actually decide to go through with my 'performance', which could be anything ranging from an online coach-led workout, a voice acting class, sharing in or leading an accountability group, giving a report at a Board meeting, (especially tough if it's in person), or actually being in an on-stage production.
What I have found is that in situations such as group readings for a casting director or agent, I am thinking so much about my performance, that I tend develop a gigantic case of brain fog and totally miss out on the direction and comments to my fellow actors.
The Audit Option
I have found that in some situations, an option to audit will be offered. That has been a game changer for me, as I can sit in on a class and totally relax, while taking notes on the direction given to the others in the group who will actually be performing. While I don't receive personal feedback on anything I'm doing, I have found that I can generalize from the comments to others and tailor those thoughts to what I have been doing that I can correct on my own, or can take suggestions and apply them to what I do going forward.
An additional plus for being a fly-on-the-wall is that this allows me to be able to check out new-to-me genres of voice acting to learn some of the lingo and nuances of those particular types of reads. That way I can practice on my own before jumping in as a 'Reader' before I decide if a particular area of VO is right for me.
I will continue to use the audit or Fly-On-The-Wall option in certain cases when it is offered. I love learning and being able to put some anxiety to the side frees up space in my brain to soak up even more tidbits of information from some of the amazing coaches I have had the good fortune to learn from over the past eight years, and will continue to seek out.
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